Happy Friday! I'm so happy right now because today was the last day of work for me! I can't even describe how happy I am because I'm finally finished having to care about work. The thing about my job is that I have to be completely selfless and take care of kids who aren't always very appreciative. I'm simply not mature enough to be able to put that much effort into entertaining and taking care of them all the time. That's why it was particularly important for me to carve out "me time" this summer; it was the only way I could get through all 12 weeks of work. Anyway, I'm so glad it's over!
This week there was a parent who just recently moved here, and she asked me if I could babysit her daughter every Wednesday. She said I would pick her up from soccer practice, then take her home, make her dinner, then put her to bed. Every Wednesday. Like a natural reaction, I automatically said yes without even thinking. I went home and told my parents about my new "part-time job" and they couldn't believe I agreed to the mom. My mom kept going on and on about how I'm already doing cheer, I'm the president of the community service club, volunteering, babysitting for other families, plus senior year is extremely taxing enough. I hadn't even thought about those things; I'm just used to always saying yes to whatever people want me to do for them. I always seem to think that I can do anything (in a sense) and I'll do it perfectly and it won't be stressful or challenging at all. You'd think I'd have learned by now, but it's probably my greatest weakness.
I've always been a people-pleaser. I don't want anyone to think I can't do something, and that I can't do it flawlessly. But the thing is that I get stressed so easily, especially when I've got a thousand things to do! I just hate disappointing people. Perfectionism is honestly such a curse because I'm almost never satisfied with anything I do, and I can easily push myself too hard, which results in a mental and emotional breakdown. I feel like I have so many expectations to have these grades, these activities, act this way, look this way, all while being gracious and kind. It's a definite struggle, but I really have to work on living my own life and not worrying about what other people think, because when it comes to my life, I'm the only one who matters. I'm working on it! Hopefully I'll be able to improve once school starts on Monday. I can't believe I'm a senior!
Carpe Diem,
Brooke
Friday, August 16, 2013
Monday, August 12, 2013
New Shoes Cure the Blues
Happy Monday! Today started out pretty rough. First of all, I had to wake up at 6 in order to be at work by 7:15, and since I hadn't slept very well it was really hard for me to wake up so early.
Secondly, my drive to work felt like I was driving through a lake the whole time because it was raining so hard! My windshield wipers were useless because it was so much rain, and it seemed like a constant waterfall on my windshield. It was the most stressed I've ever felt while driving!
Thirdly, I was super excited to go shopping with my friend after work, but she canceled on me last minute "because she needed to save her money." This might seem like a legitimate excuse, except that I go shopping with her just so she can get stuff all the time! Why couldn't she do the same for me just once? Or we could just do something else together on the last day of summer! But no, my "friend" can be rather selfish.
Perhaps this was for the best and it was a sign that I should stop being friends with her, since this is certainly not the first time she's canceled plans on me. I've been best friends with her since I was six months old and she was three months; perhaps it's time that we stop trying to make our friendship work because we've simply become too different.
So I was pretty bummed when I got home from work because I had been saving my babysitting money just so I could go shopping. I told my mom what happened, and she was sweet enough to go shopping with me at the mall! It was so nice of her, and we had so much fun together. Way more fun than I would have had with my friend. I got two pairs of shoes, the cutest navy tank top with a scalloped white and pink collar, and a dress for my senior pictures!
So yeah, the day started badly but ended wonderfully! I'm just going to move on from my incident with my friend and not let it bother me anymore (plus, the new shoes help!). :)
Carpe Diem,
Brooke
Secondly, my drive to work felt like I was driving through a lake the whole time because it was raining so hard! My windshield wipers were useless because it was so much rain, and it seemed like a constant waterfall on my windshield. It was the most stressed I've ever felt while driving!
Thirdly, I was super excited to go shopping with my friend after work, but she canceled on me last minute "because she needed to save her money." This might seem like a legitimate excuse, except that I go shopping with her just so she can get stuff all the time! Why couldn't she do the same for me just once? Or we could just do something else together on the last day of summer! But no, my "friend" can be rather selfish.
Perhaps this was for the best and it was a sign that I should stop being friends with her, since this is certainly not the first time she's canceled plans on me. I've been best friends with her since I was six months old and she was three months; perhaps it's time that we stop trying to make our friendship work because we've simply become too different.
So I was pretty bummed when I got home from work because I had been saving my babysitting money just so I could go shopping. I told my mom what happened, and she was sweet enough to go shopping with me at the mall! It was so nice of her, and we had so much fun together. Way more fun than I would have had with my friend. I got two pairs of shoes, the cutest navy tank top with a scalloped white and pink collar, and a dress for my senior pictures!
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| New Sperry's! My old ones are disgusting. |
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| Nike Air Maxes were on sale! |
Carpe Diem,
Brooke
Saturday, August 10, 2013
Great Day!
Happy Saturday! I spent my favorite day of the week doing my favorite things. I watched Amelie for maybe the sixth time this summer (see my Amelie appreciation post), then I went shopping for school supplies, which is what I look forward to all summer.
Afterward, my mom and I got pedicures together! I hope it lasts until the first day of school (which is the 19th), and I plan on getting a manicure the day before. After our nails dried, we went home, picked up my dad and brother, and went to see We're the Millers with Jennifer Aniston (my girl crush) and Jason Sudeikis and it was hilarious. Oh my goodness I was laughing the whole time! After the movie, we went home and ate dinner. Then I made some Lilly Pulitzer binder covers which I'm very proud of.
Then I took my dogs on a walk because it was such a beautiful night! I feel so lucky to have gotten to do such fun things on one of my last weekends of summer!
Carpe Diem,
Brooke
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| Ah, the illusion of productivity |
Carpe Diem,
Brooke
Thursday, August 8, 2013
101st Post!
Happy Thursday! So I totally planned on having a special "100th Post" but I guess I just totally forgot about it last time, and my 100th post was about all those crazy applications I have to fill out! Oh well, I guess 101 can be a special number too! I know I don't post super frequently, and most of my posts are pretty boring, but I really enjoy running this blog. It's like my own little personal diary, except I feel like I get to share bits and pieces of my life, and it's forever stored on this great thing called the internet.
I'm just so busy trying to get stuff done all the time that I don't always get to share a lot of parts about my life, like how I've worked every day all summer plus babysit at least twice a week, and that I'm going to start volunteering at the Down Syndrome Guild next Friday. I think I overall am content with my life, but I don't think I'm positively over-the-moon about it. Like yesterday, I was so tired of working that I had to bribe myself that I would get gelato after dinner if I could make it through the day. Tonight I got more gelato (don't judge) but just stayed in the parking lot for about an hour reading my book because I was so sick of staying at home. It's been a rough week.
I got my senior schedule today and I'm pretty happy about my teachers. I just want summer to end so I can start my senior year! Don't get me wrong, I hate school, but I'm just ready to move on to the next chapter of my life at KU. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help but think of my senior year merely as a gap year between high school and college. I know it's going to be super tough, but I'm hoping I won't be as stressed as most of my peers since I already know where I'm going to college.
Happy 101st Post, and thanks for sticking with My Life as a Wallflower!
Carpe Diem,
Brooke
I'm just so busy trying to get stuff done all the time that I don't always get to share a lot of parts about my life, like how I've worked every day all summer plus babysit at least twice a week, and that I'm going to start volunteering at the Down Syndrome Guild next Friday. I think I overall am content with my life, but I don't think I'm positively over-the-moon about it. Like yesterday, I was so tired of working that I had to bribe myself that I would get gelato after dinner if I could make it through the day. Tonight I got more gelato (don't judge) but just stayed in the parking lot for about an hour reading my book because I was so sick of staying at home. It's been a rough week.
I got my senior schedule today and I'm pretty happy about my teachers. I just want summer to end so I can start my senior year! Don't get me wrong, I hate school, but I'm just ready to move on to the next chapter of my life at KU. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help but think of my senior year merely as a gap year between high school and college. I know it's going to be super tough, but I'm hoping I won't be as stressed as most of my peers since I already know where I'm going to college.
Happy 101st Post, and thanks for sticking with My Life as a Wallflower!
Carpe Diem,
Brooke
Monday, July 29, 2013
Application Struggles
Happy Monday! So I'm currently in the process of trying to apply to the honors program at KU and to live in a scholarship hall, and the HP requires one essay and the schol-hall requires two. I've written the essay for the HP, so now I'm trying to figure out how to contract with student housing and writing an essay for it!
I have to write about which two or three activities shaped me into the person I am today and why, and I'm really struggling. I wish I'd done a community service trip in Latin America, but, unfortunately, that hasn't happened yet. All I do is cheer, the musical, and my summer job, so I'm writing about the latter two. But they honestly really haven't shaped me very much, so it's a struggle to try to write about them in a way that makes them seem really influential.
I wish I could write about something like why my favorite movie is my favorite. I could easily write an essay about why I love Forrest Gump so much. Argh, I just want this whole process to be over!
Carpe Diem,
Brooke
I have to write about which two or three activities shaped me into the person I am today and why, and I'm really struggling. I wish I'd done a community service trip in Latin America, but, unfortunately, that hasn't happened yet. All I do is cheer, the musical, and my summer job, so I'm writing about the latter two. But they honestly really haven't shaped me very much, so it's a struggle to try to write about them in a way that makes them seem really influential.
I wish I could write about something like why my favorite movie is my favorite. I could easily write an essay about why I love Forrest Gump so much. Argh, I just want this whole process to be over!
Carpe Diem,
Brooke
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Change of Scenery
Happy Sunday! This weekend my family and I traveled to the lake for a nice change of scenery, and something about camping helped me to break up the pattern I'd gotten myself stuck in. Recently I've been going to my essay-writing class, working, then coming home to do nothing but watch TV. That's exactly what I told myself I wouldn't do this summer, because I wanted to spend my free time doing things I want to do but can't during the school year. I've come up with a (flexible) schedule to keep myself busy and off the couch for too long!
Monday and Tuesday
Carpe Diem,
Brooke
Monday and Tuesday
- Eat breakfast; Special K, fruit, and tea
- Essay class
- Work
- Come home, watch TV (one or two episodes)
- Run or do yoga
- Shower
- Eat dinner
- Do a craft
- Blog post
- Watch a movie
- Eat breakfast
- Watch TV
- Learn Italian
- Read
- Go to work
- Come home, watch TV
- Run/yoga
- Shower
- Eat dinner
- Craft
- Blog post
- Movie
- Eat breakfast
- Watch TV
- Plan outfits for school
- Work
- Come home, watch TV
- Run/yoga
- Shower
- Eat dinner
- Read
- Blog post
- Movie
- Eat breakfast
- Watch TV
- Read
- Work
- Come home, watch TV
- Run/yoga
- Shower
- Something fun with a friend!
Carpe Diem,
Brooke
Monday, July 22, 2013
All Work and No Play
Happy Monday! Have you ever heard the phrase "all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy"? I guess it's from "The Shiner," which I've never seen, but I've been hearing it a lot lately and recently I've been feeling a strong connection to it. I just found out that I didn't get any weeks off for the last three weeks of summer, which means that I got zero weeks off total. That's right, minus two days for college visits, I will have worked all twelve weeks of summer. Plus babysitting most weekends. Also, starting tomorrow, I'm going to be in a college essay writing class through next Tuesday.
We didn't go on any vacations or do anything fun all summer. I hate to sound like such a spoiled brat, but when summer had just begun I expected to have this really awesome and memorable summer. Alas, no. The "no play" part is a bit of an exaggeration; I have gone to the movies a couple times and I did participate in the Color Run on Saturday (see my post on my other blog, Bowties & Ballet Flats! I never thought I would say this, but I just want summer to be over! I'm ready for my senior year! Oh, by the way, I got into KU! Rock Chalk!
Carpe Diem,
Brooke
We didn't go on any vacations or do anything fun all summer. I hate to sound like such a spoiled brat, but when summer had just begun I expected to have this really awesome and memorable summer. Alas, no. The "no play" part is a bit of an exaggeration; I have gone to the movies a couple times and I did participate in the Color Run on Saturday (see my post on my other blog, Bowties & Ballet Flats! I never thought I would say this, but I just want summer to be over! I'm ready for my senior year! Oh, by the way, I got into KU! Rock Chalk!
Carpe Diem,
Brooke
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