Just Say No

      Happy Friday! I'm so happy right now because today was the last day of work for me! I can't even describe how happy I am because I'm finally finished having to care about work. The thing about my job is that I have to be completely selfless and take care of kids who aren't always very appreciative. I'm simply not mature enough to be able to put that much effort into entertaining and taking care of them all the time. That's why it was particularly important for me to carve out "me time" this summer; it was the only way I could get through all 12 weeks of work. Anyway, I'm so glad it's over!
       This week there was a parent who just recently moved here, and she asked me if I could babysit her daughter every Wednesday. She said I would pick her up from soccer practice, then take her home, make her dinner, then put her to bed. Every Wednesday. Like a natural reaction, I automatically said yes without even thinking. I went home and told my parents about my new "part-time job" and they couldn't believe I agreed to the mom. My mom kept going on and on about how I'm already doing cheer, I'm the president of the community service club, volunteering, babysitting for other families, plus senior year is extremely taxing enough. I hadn't even thought about those things; I'm just used to always saying yes to whatever people want me to do for them. I always seem to think that I can do anything (in a sense) and I'll do it perfectly and it won't be stressful or challenging at all. You'd think I'd have learned by now, but it's probably my greatest weakness.
      I've always been a people-pleaser. I don't want anyone to think I can't do something, and that I can't do it flawlessly. But the thing is that I get stressed so easily, especially when I've got a thousand things to do! I just hate disappointing people. Perfectionism is honestly such a curse because I'm almost never satisfied with anything I do, and I can easily push myself too hard, which results in a mental and emotional breakdown. I feel like I have so many expectations to have these grades, these activities, act this way, look this way, all while being gracious and kind. It's a definite struggle, but I really have to work on living my own life and not worrying about what other people think, because when it comes to my life, I'm the only one who matters. I'm working on it! Hopefully I'll be able to improve once school starts on Monday. I can't believe I'm a senior!

Carpe Diem,
Brooke

New Shoes Cure the Blues

      Happy Monday! Today started out pretty rough. First of all, I had to wake up at 6 in order to be at work by 7:15, and since I hadn't slept very well it was really hard for me to wake up so early.
      Secondly, my drive to work felt like I was driving through a lake the whole time because it was raining so hard! My windshield wipers were useless because it was so much rain, and it seemed like a constant waterfall on my windshield. It was the most stressed I've ever felt while driving!
      Thirdly, I was super excited to go shopping with my friend after work, but she canceled on me last minute "because she needed to save her money." This might seem like a legitimate excuse, except that I go shopping with her just so she can get stuff all the time! Why couldn't she do the same for me just once? Or we could just do something else together on the last day of summer! But no, my "friend" can be rather selfish.
      Perhaps this was for the best and it was a sign that I should stop being friends with her, since this is certainly not the first time she's canceled plans on me. I've been best friends with her since I was six months old and she was three months; perhaps it's time that we stop trying to make our friendship work because we've simply become too different.
       So I was pretty bummed when I got home from work because I had been saving my babysitting money just so I could go shopping. I told my mom what happened, and she was sweet enough to go shopping with me at the mall! It was so nice of her, and we had so much fun together. Way more fun than I would have had with my friend. I got two pairs of shoes, the cutest navy tank top with a scalloped white and pink collar, and a dress for my senior pictures!

New Sperry's! My old ones are disgusting.

Nike Air Maxes were on sale!

        So yeah, the day started badly but ended wonderfully! I'm just going to move on from my incident with my friend and not let it bother me anymore (plus, the new shoes help!). :)

Carpe Diem,
Brooke

Great Day!

      Happy Saturday! I spent my favorite day of the week doing my favorite things. I watched Amelie for maybe the sixth time this summer (see my Amelie appreciation post), then I went shopping for school supplies, which is what I look forward to all summer.

Ah, the illusion of productivity

      Afterward, my mom and I got pedicures together! I hope it lasts until the first day of school (which is the 19th), and I plan on getting a manicure the day before. After our nails dried, we went home, picked up my dad and brother, and went to see We're the Millers with Jennifer Aniston (my girl crush) and Jason Sudeikis and it was hilarious. Oh my goodness I was laughing the whole time! After the movie, we went home and ate dinner. Then I made some Lilly Pulitzer binder covers which I'm very proud of.

      Then I took my dogs on a walk because it was such a beautiful night! I feel so lucky to have gotten to do such fun things on one of my last weekends of summer!

Carpe Diem,
Brooke

101st Post!

      Happy Thursday! So I totally planned on having a special "100th Post" but I guess I just totally forgot about it last time, and my 100th post was about all those crazy applications I have to fill out! Oh well, I guess 101 can be a special number too! I know I don't post super frequently, and most of my posts are pretty boring, but I really enjoy running this blog. It's like my own little personal diary, except I feel like I get to share bits and pieces of my life, and it's forever stored on this great thing called the internet.
       I'm just so busy trying to get stuff done all the time that I don't always get to share a lot of parts about my life, like how I've worked every day all summer plus babysit at least twice a week, and that I'm going to start volunteering at the Down Syndrome Guild next Friday. I think I overall am content with my life, but I don't think I'm positively over-the-moon about it. Like yesterday, I was so tired of working that I had to bribe myself that I would get gelato after dinner if I could make it through the day. Tonight I got more gelato (don't judge) but just stayed in the parking lot for about an hour reading my book because I was so sick of staying at home. It's been a rough week.
       I got my senior schedule today and I'm pretty happy about my teachers. I just want summer to end so I can start my senior year! Don't get me wrong, I hate school, but I'm just ready to move on to the next chapter of my life at KU. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help but think of my senior year merely as a gap year between high school and college. I know it's going to be super tough, but I'm hoping I won't be as stressed as most of my peers since I already know where I'm going to college.
       Happy 101st Post, and thanks for sticking with My Life as a Wallflower!

Carpe Diem,
Brooke