Just Say No

      Happy Friday! I'm so happy right now because today was the last day of work for me! I can't even describe how happy I am because I'm finally finished having to care about work. The thing about my job is that I have to be completely selfless and take care of kids who aren't always very appreciative. I'm simply not mature enough to be able to put that much effort into entertaining and taking care of them all the time. That's why it was particularly important for me to carve out "me time" this summer; it was the only way I could get through all 12 weeks of work. Anyway, I'm so glad it's over!
       This week there was a parent who just recently moved here, and she asked me if I could babysit her daughter every Wednesday. She said I would pick her up from soccer practice, then take her home, make her dinner, then put her to bed. Every Wednesday. Like a natural reaction, I automatically said yes without even thinking. I went home and told my parents about my new "part-time job" and they couldn't believe I agreed to the mom. My mom kept going on and on about how I'm already doing cheer, I'm the president of the community service club, volunteering, babysitting for other families, plus senior year is extremely taxing enough. I hadn't even thought about those things; I'm just used to always saying yes to whatever people want me to do for them. I always seem to think that I can do anything (in a sense) and I'll do it perfectly and it won't be stressful or challenging at all. You'd think I'd have learned by now, but it's probably my greatest weakness.
      I've always been a people-pleaser. I don't want anyone to think I can't do something, and that I can't do it flawlessly. But the thing is that I get stressed so easily, especially when I've got a thousand things to do! I just hate disappointing people. Perfectionism is honestly such a curse because I'm almost never satisfied with anything I do, and I can easily push myself too hard, which results in a mental and emotional breakdown. I feel like I have so many expectations to have these grades, these activities, act this way, look this way, all while being gracious and kind. It's a definite struggle, but I really have to work on living my own life and not worrying about what other people think, because when it comes to my life, I'm the only one who matters. I'm working on it! Hopefully I'll be able to improve once school starts on Monday. I can't believe I'm a senior!

Carpe Diem,
Brooke